


Shame

by monkiimax



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Guilt, Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-20
Updated: 2014-11-20
Packaged: 2018-02-26 08:44:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2645531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monkiimax/pseuds/monkiimax
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hiro?” his voice came almost too loud, the sleepiness already gone. The youngest Hamada was sitting on his bed, with his back pressed against the wall and with his thumb inside his mouth. Hiro was staring at him with wide open eyes but he didn´t said anything.“What are you doing here sitting in the dark?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shame

Tadashi entered to the house with his eyes already half closed. It was almost 3:00 am and he was just getting home, which hadn´t been odd during the last few days. His project was running up hill lately and he couldn’t feel more proud to accept he was on the edge of finishing it. Just a couple of minor arrangements and it would be ready to be shown to the hospitals and care centers in the next robotic fair. Still, that night he had stood a little later than usual and his body was begging for some rest.

He threw his bag next to the stairs and climbed the stairs lazily. He wasn’t surprised to find all the lights off and his aunt sleeping loudly inside her room so he decided to reach his shared room through the darkness. Not that he wasn´t used to, he knew the house just like he knew all the campus shortcuts. A long buzz made him stop at the middle of the stairs. He took out his phone and checked it; it was a new message from GoGo.

‘ _Professor Callaghan says tomorrow won´t check any of our projects so no need to wake up early. Night!´_

Tadashi smiled pleased as he read the message; his only class on Thursdays was at 1:00pm so it meant he could get his too much needed 8 hours of sleep. He entered to the room without giving a second look to his younger brother´s bed and entered to his side of his room. With his eyes almost closed he took off his jacket and then his shirt. Lately Professor Callaghan seemed a little off and unfocused on their projects. Not that it bother the older Hamada. He didn´t like the teacher as much as he faked to. He felt something was off with the man: the way his gaze would always linger on some of the students, him included), or when he left his hand on his shoulder or would ´accidentaly´ caressed his leg during his project check up. Wasabi had noted that too lately but both of them decided to let it go. It wasn´t exactly like he was doing something wrong. It was that sometimes Tadashi felt _weird_ being around the professor. He rubbed his sore eyes and sighed loudly. He had to stop thinking about _that._ He had to focus on going to sleep and get enough sleep to keep working on Baymax software.

He took his pijama of the edge of his bed automatically. He put on the pants first and debated on staying like that or put the rest of the outfit. It was pretty hot lately with summer so close.

_Hmp…_

Tadashi heard someone clear it throat and instantly the worst scenarios hit his head. What if he was a robber, or a killer? What was he doing in his room? Then another thought, a stronger one hit him as he stretched his arm to get his bat hidden beside his desk: _Hiro was just a couple of meters away!_ When he had a strong grip around the bat he turned on the light.

“Hiro?” his voice came almost too loud, the sleepiness already gone.

The young Hamada was sitting on his bed, with his back pressed against the wall and with his thumb inside his mouth. Hiro was staring at him with wide open eyes but he didn´t said anything. Tadashi put the weapon back to his hiding place and took his dirty shirt from the floor where he had thrown it just moments ago.

“What are you doing here sitting in the dark?” he asked cautiously as he sat on the edge of the bed, his eyes never leaving Hiro.

“Sorry if I scared you.” he mumbled as he looked down. Tadashi sighed again and stared at the clock, it was already 3:15 am.

“Why are you still up?”

“I don´t know.” he shrugged. “I couldn´t sleep.”

Tadashi sat closer to him and took his brother´s temperature. “You are not ill, aren´t you?” Hiro shook his head. “Then what is bothering you?” he asked as he took his brother hand and made him stop biting his thump. Tadashi couldn´t remember the last time Hiro had done that and it worried him deeply. Something was off but he couldn´t guess what was. “Has someone being bullying you? Is it about homework?” Hiro shook his head again and pulled his hand to put back his finger between his teeth. Tadashi took his hand again and held it between his. “You are worried.” it wasn´t a question.

Hiro looked down but Tadashi understood the unspoken answer.

“Can you tell me what is bothering you?”

“It´s nothing.” Hiro responded a little too loud but when he realized it he changed his voice to almost a whisper. “I´m just overreacting.”

“Hiro.” Tadashi took his chin and made him look up. “You can tell me. Whatever it is, I promise I will not think any less of you.”

Tadashi thought Hiro was worried because he had screwed something at the lab that day or he was having a tough time in one of his classes. It wouldn´t surprise him if that was the case, after all, his brother was a 14 year old boy already in college.

“It´s about Professor Callaghan.” he stared after a very long silence. “Today he told me to meet him at the office because he wanted to show me something about my project. He said he had found some new researches that could help me with my microbots. When I got there after my last class I found him sitting behind a really big computer screen, I think it was one of the new ones the department got last week.”

Tadashi listened to his brother in complete silence but with a pretty evident frown on his face. It didn´t make any sense. Callaghan had send them an email that morning he wasn´t feeling well and wouldn´t check their projects that afternoon.

“He told me to take a look at the screen but he didn´t moved, instead, he told me to sit in his lap.” Tadashi´s face changed instantly from concerned to pure shock. Hiro was still looking down and playing with his hand nervously. It was obvious he was having a hard time continuing his story. “I… I found it weird but not so much. I mean, sometimes I rest my head on your lap when we are watching movies and aunt Cass would always sit me on her lap whenever I helped her at the kitchen or when she cut my hair or when she read me books.”

_No! It´s not the same!,_ he wanted to scream but he couldn´t find his voice.

“So I sat down and started reading the paper. It was really interesting but when the professor started touching my leg I found it really hard to read…” he stopped to take a big breathe. Tadashi mimicked him. “I tried to ignore it but there was a point when I asked him what was he doing. I thought he would take away his hand but instead he went…higher?”

Hiro passed his fingers through his messy hair and took another big breathe.

“Hiro?” Tadashi wished for the earth to swallow him but he knew that escaping would only make things worse. So he took all his energy to blurt out those 5 words. “Did he touch you ´ _there´”_ he said almost in a whisper but it looked like Hiro had heard him. The boy nodded slowly.

Tadashi bit his lip. “Did he touch you under the clothes too?” _Please say no, please say no._

Hiro looked up and Tadashi saw the water starting to fill his eyes. “I don´t know what happened. I mean, I didn´t want _that_ to appear but…” he rubbed his eyes trying to clean the tears before falling. “but he kept…you know…”  It looked like if Hiro couldn´t find the courage to raise his head up and meet Tadashi´s eyes. “He…he asked me: why was I so afraid? That boys were supposed to like that. He asked if I did it by myself.” he stopped and Tadashi could see him start shaking but he was unable to move, to say anything. “And…I don´t know…I guessed I like it because I… I finished inside my…” He let a loud sob escape his shaking lips. “I didn´t know what to do!” he finally shouted at the top of his lungs.

 Suddenly Tadashi´s body came to life. His arms moved around his brother and pulled in a strong hug. Hiro was now sobbing loudly and hiding his face on his older brother chest. Tadashi was crying as well but not as loud as Hiro.

“I am so sorry.” he hissed between sobs. Tadashi just caressed his hair and his back. “I´m so sorry.”

 

* * *

 

Tadashi stared at Hiro was he played with his breakfast. The two brothers were too tired of a full night awake, Hiro crying his heart out and Tadashi trying to comfort him. Around 8:00 am their aunt entered to their room just to find Tadashi mumbling what it sounded like a lullaby as he rocked a sleeping Hiro. When she asked what was that about Tadashi had to lie and tell her Hiro had a pretty vivid nightmare and was tired. Tadashi knew she hadn´t believed him but that was all he could do.

“Do you want to go to classes today? You could call ill.” said Tadashi after a really long pause.

“I have an exam today.” his answer was so flat and solid it almost felt harsh from its lack of sarcasm and usual joy.

“You have to tell on him.”

Hiro put his spoon back inside his bowl full of cereal and started separating the colorful marshmallows from the cereal.

“I don´t want to.”

Tadashi looked over his shoulder and then moved to a chair closer to his brother. “Hiro, what he did was illegal. You can´t let him get away with it.”

“It doesn´t matter.” he answered as plainly as before but Tadashi saw a small change on his brother face. He looked…Scared?

“It does!” he hissed but immediately recovered his previous tone. “What he did was wrong. I know it, you know it and he knows it. What if he tries to do that again?”

Hiro stared at his brother. “I don´t know, I just know I can´t.”

“Why?!” he screamed in exasperation.

Hiro jumped up and slammed his hands on the table. “You don´t understand!”

“Try me!” he said also standing up.

Hiro looked away and cleaned away a rebellious tear. Tadashi put his hand on his shoulders and shook him softly. “Please, let me help you.”

Hiro looked down and with broken voice he answered. “You can´t.”

“Hiro.” The boy pulled his hand up and started chewing his thumb nail. “I am your big brother and you are my baby brother. I can´t let anyone hurt you. I won´t.”

“Haven´t you thought I am not the one that needs protection?” he hissed as he took a step back. Tadashi stared at him confused. “I can´t tell because I don´t want him to harm you.” he finally accepted.

Tadashi frowned. He was officially lost. What did Hiro meant Callaghan wanted to hurt him? Had he planned to do something similar to him? Impossible. The professor was aware Tadashi was stronger and wouldn´t let things go that far. A wave of rage hit Tadashi as that thought passed through his mind. He was older, stronger; he could defend himself, Hiro couldn´t.

“You know he is the director of the scholarship table, right?”

And then everything made sense. Callaghan had threatened Hiro with _his_ scholarship. The man was aware he wouldn´t be able to take Hiro´s but his; with only a phone call Tadashi would be out of the school. Hiro let himself fall into the chair defeated.

“I don´t care.” Tadashi barely recognized his voice. Hiro looked up.

“But you are just two years away of finishing and you have all this projects. You can´t let that go away. I won’t let you.”

Tadashi kneeled in front of him and slowly caressed his cheek. People usually thought Hiro was some kind of egocentric and immature kid but Tadashi knew better. He knew his baby brother was kind, and generous, and loyal, and most of all compassionate.

“I can take it.” Tadashi felt his eyes water. “I mean, I could be more careful. You know, avoid empty spaces or going alone to his office…”

Tadashi shook his head. “No.”

“Two years isn´t long; and what if it was just a _one time_ thing?”

“No.”

“Tadashi!”

“NO!” he was the one screaming now. “I won´t let you do that! You can´t!”

“Then what?!” Hiro´s face went red as he tried to hold his tears. “Aunt Cass can´t pay the college bills and we both know it! You need to stay! If I say something everything, all your hard work, all those sleepless nights, will be thrown to the garbage.” Suddenly Hiro´s face changed. It went from anger and frustration to complete sadness. His voice went low and so his eyes. “Plus, no one would believe me.”

“They will. They will and I can assure you, when they know what he did and how he threatened you, they will leave my scholarship alone.”

Hiro stared at the bowl still full of cereal. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

It took a while but at the end Hiro nodded slowly, Tadashi wasn´t sure if it meant he understood if it meant he understood or if he was acceding to talk. In either case, when he saw his baby brother burst out in tears, he held him tight and let him cry the only tears he had left.

“I promise.” he mumbled.

Hiro nodded again.


End file.
